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Bite..Chew..Swallow

Today I’m not writing a food post. No recipes to share. Yes. I know, I’ve not been around for the past couple months. I have a confession. Commitment issues, really. This post is really about where I’m at in life. This particular 30 – something year old phase of  my life.

I promise it’s not a self wallowing post. Just a reflection on where I thought I should have been by now. Marriage..at least. An MA. Savings towards a house/ land. A retirement plan…shoot a health plan. For the most part, I can say that I have been able to work this year and pay bills. After almost a year out of work and basically using almost all of my savings during that time,  I have been able to sorta kinda manage life.

I’ve had some very humbling experiences for the past year or so and with all of this life going on, committing to my blogs posts here has severely lacked. I never wanted this to be a pressure thing. This is suppose to be a fun thing, where I can share recipes and everything in between. Thing is, sharing is kinda hard when you feel like crap. So I basically emptied my life expectations plate. The dog definitely ate all of it.

Now I’ve decided to refill the plate with attainable goals at the moment. First portion was a great helping of spiritual nourishment. Walking by faith and not by sight. Man. That is easier said than done. Major failed moments on that one. But eventually setting small goals of daily readings and listening to audio, has been a great help in faith building. God and I have had some serious conversations. Me basically doing most of the talking. And him sending confirmations in very subtle ( and sometimes not) ways. I consider my faith walk with Christ in the beginning as that big iron pot (everybody granny have one) of dasheen bush bhaji…puffed up in the beginning, all about me, and I and quickly boiling down, only to then realise that you need other ingredients to make you taste good. Humility.

Second helping was my creativity soup. Truth is, I get bored. Quickly. I’m great at initiating ideas, pitches, projects. But the follow through…fail. Honing what I’m good at and actually sticking to it is challenging.My minds goes into overdrive and I can’t seem to settle on things…over-thinker much? Yup. However for the past couple weeks, I have been given an avenue to use the creative juices and tune in  to what  I love to do most..cook. and that has somehow allowed me to focus, plan and execute successfully. A good helping of soup; corn, fish, pumpkin,lentil or whatever is always good for the soul.

Third helping and last portion, managing my health. Focusing on taking care of me. Does that sound selfish? No. It really isn’t. Stress is real and it will kill you. Eating properly, exercising and maintaining your body isn’t vanity. Being the best you is important and so is feeling physically well. So basically… just eat your kale.

And that is basically how my  life serving on a plate looks presently. I’ve never been one to measure success by things, I learnt a long time ago that isn’t my view of success. But becoming a better Christ -like individual ( or least trying), using my God given talents/ abilities constructively and taking care of my body is exactly what is needed at this junction in my life. Everything else will come. Eventually. Small bites, careful chews and contented swallows. My success.

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